On April 13, 2007, eve of the interment of Nanay, Chie and Ate Zeny asked me to prepare a personal message at the necrological services for Nanay but knowing how poorly I can handle my emotion. . . I requested that I be spared of the “task”. Nevertheless, I prepared one just in case.
But I never got to read one because Chie’s family respected my request but on hindsight I regret for not having participated. If only I bravely stood there in front of everyone. . . . .
I could have said a lot of things. . . . .I could have told them that from the point of view of a family friend who have seen the family in good times and in bad times, it was one wonderful experience. I learned so many things!
I could have said I was a witness as to how everyone in the family loved her unconditionally . . . I saw this in their indescribable ways of caring her. Of giving everything. . . . of not saying “no” for every little thing that she asks. . . Never mind if it was reasonable or not! All they could say was “Opo, ‘Nay”.
I could have said that I did not only learn how to be stronger in times of trials, but I have learned to love my parents more. I am fortunate to have told this to Nanay Paring when she was still alive through a short note that I gave her. This note still forms part of the many mementos that are being displayed in their Marikina home.
I could have said how I have admired Jun, her son-in-law for having loved and cared Nanay with the same amount of attention that Chie, and the rest of the family accorded her. To me he is a “one of a kind” son in law.
I could have said how close were the kids to her. . . Ivy, Pons,Josh, Aaron, Cheche and the rest of the grandchildren. And that losing her was truly devastating . .
I could have said how proud I was to relate stories to my relatives and friends on how Chie and the rest of the family treat her. That it was a totally different kind of “caregiving”. . . . caregiving that was full of love! Unconditional love that is!
And finally . . . .
I could have said how the family had grieved over her loss and such grieving was so infectious. . . .
I could have said that I do understand the grieving because I too experienced it myself and so did everyone who loved her so dearly.
ivy said,
April 18, 2008 at 3:12 am
Hi Tita V.
Writing down what you could have said to Nanay means a lot to me. I’m sure, wherever she is right now, she’s proud of you.
I can actually imagine Nanay right now – sitting on a cloud, watching us… she’s smiling, laughing and chatting with the angels. Then she proudly says “Kaibigan ng anak ko yan. EXECUTIVE yan. Ginawan niya ako ng libro at ng blog!”
Allow me to say what Nanay could have said if she was alive — “Thank you for being part of our lives. Thank you for being an angel to Chie and to her family. Magpakasaya kayo lagi”.